To put it lightly, I have the social prowess of a botched up taxidermy job. So, when it comes to matters of the heart and romance: I need to trust in God.
It’s kind of a ‘cool’, faith strengthening gift, my ability to turn a conversation about pasta into a super personal, super awkward and weird and never-do-I-want-to-talk-to-a-human-male-again kind of thang. It took me a great deal of time and anxiety to realize that my future was secure with God however. I spent so many years getting anxious and riled up about social situations and lunches with boys and the mere thought of romance; i.e making a total fool out of myself, that I forgot to trust in God. I forgot he was sovereign.
Oops. Sorry God, this deadly good looking dude and his super sound theology and the way he Christianly touched my shoulder during prayer totally took over my faith in you. I forgot that you actually love me so much. It totally just fell out of my brain that you actually care, and even more so, that you know me. You know every part of me. Every social failing, awkward silence, weird crazy-eye face and fear. You know the wounds I carry and you understand exactly why I have them. You know the thoughts that race through my head every day, and you are with me when I berate myself for being such a weird, freaky little human being. You know I don’t fully trust you with my heart.
Romance can seem so separate from God. Like, why would God care about such a menial, girly little thing like that? There are big things in life, like insurance cases and career choice and your Mum getting cancer; but my girl-crush is meaningless to Him…right?
God created marriage. He created relationship, romance, desire and sex. And he digs it! He invented it, and then said 'yep, I did goooood!' He made humans to live in community and relationship. In the very beginning, He went out of his way, despite walking face to face, in perfect paradise with Adam, to make him a companion. This is because he knew the hearts of his people, and cared.
This doesn’t mean marriage will always come. There are singles all around us who never say “I do”. Please remember though, that while God created relationships as a good thing, It is entirely possible, especially in light of what Jesus has achieved, to live an amazing single life glorifying God. He has a plan just for you. Let’s face it though, most of the time, Christian women do end up walking down the aisle. This is good. Just as singleness is good. It is all within the grand plan God has for the life of his Church, and for the life of you! He cares about our community and relationships. He cares for our hearts, those which he created, knows and loves. He wants to give us good gifts.
So God cares about our romantic life. He has a plan. He understands our social awkwardness. And he loves us.
I often thought God had a plan for every aspect of my life, minus the boyfriend-finding part. But he’s got that. God is above time, so he’s currently residing before, during, after any relationships I may have in the future, including the big one: marriage. Isn’t that a comforting thought? Like, he’s already there. And if we trust him to be working for our good, and if we’ve acknowledged his working in our life in the past (You’ve definitely had an answered prayer in your life, right?) then we can know that he has a plan for your romantic life! He’s involved in every part of our being!
And when you have the God of the universe rooting for you and setting up a perfect plan for your life as you obey him; even the most socially uncomfortable botched up taxidermy faced, Post Traumatic Stress Disordered, recovering porn addict of a Christian Gal can find romance. He’s got this. Talk to him. Trust him.
*Note: despite referring to myself as "taxidermy faced", I actually love the expression capable, often blushing, blue eyed, freckled face God made for me. Body positivity, people! It's just a metaphor.